Today One Year Ago

Exactly one year ago I finished my Hebrew course at michve alon. I’ve been through quite the experience in the past year and I can’t exactly explain it in just a few words.

It’s been really hard honestly with lots of ups and downs but I still can say I don’t regret any of it.

I’ve gotten pretty cynical about the army honestly. I’ve seen so many people get completely screwed over and I’m lucky to have fallen into a job that I like and is overall satisfying I think we’re really lying to ourselves when we thing that were going to make this huge difference for Israel and have this crazy meaningful service.
I have moments where I feel like I’m truly making some kind of difference and there are many moments that I dont. There was a period in the past year that I felt completely useless and unneeded.

Everything is a process and sometimes in order to feel meaningful you have to be proud of the small improvements and look for the small successes.

Saying all of this, i really couldn’t imagine myself anywhere else in the army. Every base and every job has it’s good and bad parts and honestly I am lucky to have such supportive and amazing friends with me and also the drive to make the space for myself on base.

I do feel like I’ve accomplished a lot and I still need to work on being more confident and taking things in proportion but I’ve definitely improved from where I was even a year ago.

I think what’s helped me most through the whole experience is reminding myself of what I’ve accomplished and what I’ve gained from the whole experience. Reminding myself of my success and the friends I’ve made and people I’ve met and learned from. Remembering that I will one day look back and won’t remember the stupid things that happened but rather the friendships and the fun times because there are honestly so many.

Also my Hebrew has improved so much in the past year. I’m in total shock that I’ve learned a language from zero. I’ve learned to read and write and speak and express my feelings and thoughts. I was always worried that my Hebrew wouldn’t be strong enough to make real deep relationships but that’s completely not true and I really have created close connections with people and my Hebrew is totally good enough to do that. I still struggle sometimes but it’s incredible how much I’ve improved.

Whenever you have “anniversaries” it’s nice to take a minute to look back and reflect so happy 1 year since finishing michve to me!!!

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